Mindfulness
I have a friend who is dying. Sorry to be so blunt but there's no other way to put it. She has terminal lung cancer and it appears to be spreading at an inordinately fast rate. We've been doing a weekly Whatsapp chat every week since lockdown began and I can already see the difference in her, she's now struggling to stay on for half an hour, our first chats lasted well over an hour. It is the hardest thing to watch, although I fully appreciate it is much much harder for her to know how it will end.
A year and a half ago, one of my best friends died very suddenly. She was sitting in her chair with a cup of tea waiting for her daughter to bring her granddaughter to be babysat. Her husband left her to go to out and when her daughter arrived shortly after, she found her mum dead in the chair, the tea untouched. Two very different scenarios, both horrendous but I have to say, I think my friend had the better deal dying suddenly like that. I cannot imagine how awful it must be to know what's going to happen.
We all try to guess what's going to happen in the future but if anything shows you the reality of knowing what lies ahead, it must be this. If ever there was a time to be able to live in the now, its now! I think they call it mindfulness. Appreciating what's around you and living in the present moment, not worrying about what might be or what has been. I think that's what meditation is about too. I've never got to grips with meditation or fully into mindfulness either but I do often enjoy the moment I'm in. I feel it most when I'm out walking our dog. He loves to sniff his way round the walk. He's not a ball chaser. I can toddle along beside him admiring the trees, gardens or just enjoying the birds singing. I never listen to music or anything while out with him. I let my mind wander but I don't let it trap me in worries. It's why I prefer to walk him on my own, without my daughters dog or my husband. I often think 'I can't be bothered walking him today, he'll be fine in the garden' then I feel a bit guilty and usually give in and go out and I'm always glad I did. I always feel the better for it, even on the days when it pours down while we're out. I hate going out in the rain but I don't mind being caught in the rain and once we're wet, we're wet, it doesn't matter then!
I've had a few days of feeling anxious and worried and I've been snappy with people. I've been worrying about the future and today when I spoke to my friend, I realised I need to stop and just enjoy the moment I'm in. Enjoy where I am and be grateful for all I have. I'm only human so I know I'll fall by the wayside again at some point but for now, I'm going to enjoy my day, even though its cool, windy and raining here. The dog and I will go out a walk soon and all will be right again with our world. He'll get his peemail and I'll listen to the birds - if they've not been blown away!
A year and a half ago, one of my best friends died very suddenly. She was sitting in her chair with a cup of tea waiting for her daughter to bring her granddaughter to be babysat. Her husband left her to go to out and when her daughter arrived shortly after, she found her mum dead in the chair, the tea untouched. Two very different scenarios, both horrendous but I have to say, I think my friend had the better deal dying suddenly like that. I cannot imagine how awful it must be to know what's going to happen.
We all try to guess what's going to happen in the future but if anything shows you the reality of knowing what lies ahead, it must be this. If ever there was a time to be able to live in the now, its now! I think they call it mindfulness. Appreciating what's around you and living in the present moment, not worrying about what might be or what has been. I think that's what meditation is about too. I've never got to grips with meditation or fully into mindfulness either but I do often enjoy the moment I'm in. I feel it most when I'm out walking our dog. He loves to sniff his way round the walk. He's not a ball chaser. I can toddle along beside him admiring the trees, gardens or just enjoying the birds singing. I never listen to music or anything while out with him. I let my mind wander but I don't let it trap me in worries. It's why I prefer to walk him on my own, without my daughters dog or my husband. I often think 'I can't be bothered walking him today, he'll be fine in the garden' then I feel a bit guilty and usually give in and go out and I'm always glad I did. I always feel the better for it, even on the days when it pours down while we're out. I hate going out in the rain but I don't mind being caught in the rain and once we're wet, we're wet, it doesn't matter then!
I've had a few days of feeling anxious and worried and I've been snappy with people. I've been worrying about the future and today when I spoke to my friend, I realised I need to stop and just enjoy the moment I'm in. Enjoy where I am and be grateful for all I have. I'm only human so I know I'll fall by the wayside again at some point but for now, I'm going to enjoy my day, even though its cool, windy and raining here. The dog and I will go out a walk soon and all will be right again with our world. He'll get his peemail and I'll listen to the birds - if they've not been blown away!
When you see your contemporaries dying (suddenly or otherwise) it puts things in perspective doesn't it. My brother who died last January was quite a bit older so it shouldn't have been a surprise that he would go before me, but it was just that it was so sudden. Four weeks start to finish! So I try to ask myself often - "what would Phil give to be here doing this now"? I also had a friend at work who died in April at the age of 59. He was sporty, health conscious. Didn't smoke or drink and his family was his everything. And he died a few months before he planned to retire, and again quickly, although not linked to covid. It really does put things in perspective. And that puppy is just gorgeous!!!!
ReplyDeleteIt certainly does put life into perspective and makes you appreciate all the more being alive and well. It's just so much worse that it had to happen now when she can't even get hugs from her family or friends. Unfortunately her daughter in law is working in a vet's so she's a bit of a danger to her which means her son has to be careful around her too. I'm sorry about your brother and your friend, it's so sad and how we miss them.
DeleteOur dog is very cute and he knows it! He has a female doggie fan club here and he ignores them all! He likes ones who play hard to get lol. x
As a bit of a talker, please tell me MG you don’t do what so many people do that we pass, talk on the phone? Most are completely oblivious that we have walked by so engrossed in their conversation. They miss the sights, the sounds, the smells. What is it with folk that even on a walk where as you say, you can be in touch with the wonderful world we all live in they decide that talking is preferable to Mother Nature’s company? Yes, take the phone in case of emergencies, but not to natter on about little Willies potty training or where has a super abundance of bog rolls. Mindfulness... yes, live in the moment, not in the phone box of yesteryear... yacking ...
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I have been known to talk if someone calls me while out but that is quite rare, most folks who call me know roughly when I'll be out and most of my 'blethering' is in the mornings. I usually walk Sonny in the evening. I do always have my phone though as I was once caught short when Sonny got into a battle with a bigger dog in the park and got injured and I'd no idea what to do as his foot was bleeding quite badly. Fortunately I had a friend who lived nearby and she drove me to the vets and we walked home from there as I'd no idea what anyones phone number was anymore to call for a lift! I used to know all the numbers off by heart but not mobile numbers. It's taken me years to know my own! x
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