A Nice Day.

 Today was my daughters 40th birthday.  Today was also my friends funeral.  I had a nice day.

This morning we went to visit my daughter to give her her presents.  We had a lovely socially distanced visit.  Her husband has erected their gazebo in the garden in the event people pop by with birthday wishes and gifts for her.  We stayed for an hour and left.  I've not heard from her since to find out how the rest of her day went, however I'm sure I'd have heard if it went badly!

My friends funeral was also today, however I have no idea when it was.  I was upset by this initially.  I know we can only have 20 people at funerals at the moment and had no idea if I'd make the cut or not but I did not expect to not hear about it at all directly.  Her husband sent an email to one of the girls in our Art group and told her the funeral would be today but not a time or any detail.  He said there would be a commemoration zoom meeting sometime later but didn't elaborate further.   If I'm honest, I was hurt he didn't let me know personally, particularly as my friend and I talked at length about the details of her funeral as she arranged it.  I'm not saying I should have been an attendee, but it would have been nice to know when it was taking place at least.  I know her husband is not one of lifes copers.  I think thats why she was so intent in organising as much as possible herself.  Yesterday I was feeling very hurt about it  but today I decided that in the larger picture, it doesn't matter.  I don't need a funeral to say goodbye to her.  I've said my own farewells to her in my own way and in changing my mood, I was able to have a really nice day today.

I didn't do much of any note.  I made some jars of applesauce from our cooking apples.  I took the dog a nice walk, I ran into a friend while in the chemist so we chatted outdoors for a little while, I also met my neighbours on my way home from the dog walk and we too had a chat and then I sat and finished reading my book.  Like I said, nothing of any note but the day meandered by nicely.

I watched a Ted Talk last week and some of it resonated with me.  It wasn't one of the best I've watched but something she said took root.  She said  that if we are struggling in life with anything, we need to look at the story we are telling ourself and if we don't like the story, look at it from another perspective and change the story.  It's all about our perception.  We look at situations and depending on our past experience, we have a tendancy to 'make up the narrative' given few facts and our past experience.  I know this is true.  I've caught myself doing it.   It's assuming we know best.  It's not accounting for the fact that we don't know what's going on in anyone elses head or life.  What we perceive as a slight against us may just simply be a mind that is too full of other worries to think of anything other than whats in front of them at the time.  Because of this I know my friends husband didn't slight me, it probably didn't even occur to him that people not invited to the funeral might actually want to know the details just to know. Just to know to stop for a minute and remember her.  He had a list of instructions from his wife and he followed them.  I doubt even she would have instructed him to that degree - she probably assumed too!  I know its beginning to sound like I've overthought this and been hurt or annoyed and I promise you I'm not.   I'm sad my friend is no more.  I'll visit her grave one day, its in a very pretty old churchyard, she told me about it.  One day we'll go for a drive out to visit it but in the meantime I'm happy to remember her as she was, a lovely, lovely friend.

Now, I'm going to get back to making masks!  I make masks with pockets in them which allows an inner support frame to be inserted which makes them much easier to wear.  The frame means the mask doesn't sook into your mouth when you speak!  I also got some aluminium nose bridge strips which also fit inside the pocket allowing you to close the area over your nose more snuggly.   I've also discovered that rather than elastic over the ears, a much more comfy solution is t.shirt material.  In long narrow strips its much more comfy and I make them so that they can be adjusted to fit.  I've a few cut out and tomorrow I plan to get them all sewn and out to my family to use.  I didn't imagine when I made the last lot they would still be in use and we'd need more.  It looks like masks are here to stay for a while so I'm making one for every occasion!  

I've also to pick more cooking apples tomorrow for my neighbour.  While I was talking to her and her partner today she told me she made her first ever apple crumble with the last lot I gave her and very nice it looked too. (she showed me the photo of it!)  The photo below is actually the apples from our eating apple tree, peeled and ready to cook.  We can't eat enough of them so I cook them to have in various puddings throughout winter.  They have a different texture from cookers when cooked but they are nice all the same! I said there's loads more on the tree so she agreed she'd like some more.  I also got the ones I picked for myself a few days ago peeled and cooked and put into jars today.  They are basically now apple sauce but will be lovely in pies and crumbles for the forseeable future!

 

I feel more like myself again.  It's a nice feeling. x