Sad.

 My friend died today.  

It was very quick and completely unexpected - well in so far as it was not expected quite yet.  She had lung cancer and in January was given about a year to live.  We thought she might make it through Christmas but it wasn't to be.

She had quite an advanced cancer back in 2015 which they managed to get on top of with chemo and radiation, however it was clear it had already spread when they had to remove quite a lot of lymph nodes before they found one clear of the cancer.   That said, she had 4 very good and healthy years after that.  Her hair grew in pure white but with a completely black 2 inch wide stripe down the back!  It was amazing and brilliant!  She and her husband had a few amazing holidays.  They did a train tour round Europe, travelling, at one point on the Orient Express.  They did a tour of India,  had a trip to Italy and many other smaller trips to islands in Scotland, England and Wales too.  She was a member of a large choir and enjoyed singing all over Scotland with them and she even passed a few grades in singing lessons.

We met in 2015 at a watercolour class in Strathclyde University.  She was diagnosed with cancer while in the class and attended as many classes as she was able to in between chemo.  We gelled instantly and then a group of 8 of us stayed in touch after the class and although two have now dropped away the rest of us continue to meet up (well, we did before Covid, now we do zoom lunches!) every 6 weeks or so for coffee or lunch and a visit to a local art gallery.  She was a great support to me during my own brush with cancer and because of her own experience she was able to understand more of what I was going through not only physically but mentally.  Cancer messes with your mental health too.

Then last November she was attending a family wedding in Vancouver in Canada.  Travelling alone as her husband had another event to attend in the Highlands the same weekend!  On the flight over she felt quite unwell, and by the time she arrived her relatives were so worried about how she looked, they took her straight to the emergency room at the hospital where they said her lung was full of fluid.  They drained it and advised her to turn right round and get home and get to a hospital here.  However being the person she was, she wanted to attend at least the speech part of the wedding as she was the only family member attending on her nephews (the groom) side and had a speech prepared.  She managed to attend the service and went for a rest until the speeches were to be read and she attended long enough to say her piece then retired to bed, flying home the next day.

In hospital when she got home they discovered her lung was full of fluid again and a few tests later showed she had lung cancer.   She undertook chemo yet again but this time to no avail.  The cancer did not respond this time and in March she was sent home to live for a few months.

She's organised her funeral, she's sorted out all her affairs and given away many precious gifts to friends and family.  She and I had a Whatsapp call every week since lockdown began back in March.  The last time I saw her in real life was the day before the big lockdown when she told me she had a hospital appointment and couldn't get a mask anywhere.  I had just recently found a website with instructions for a mask and I ran one up for her and rushed over to her house on the other side of the city to  make sure she had it in time.  I've only seen her on my phone screen since then.

She was doing really well though.  It was her and her hubbys 40th wedding anniversary last weekend and they ordered in a lovely meal from a local restaurant.  Her pain seemed to be well under control with the drugs the MacMillan nurses sorted for her and she was as bright and lively as ever on our calls, albeit quite weary at times.   I had a call booked with her for today at 2pm.  I was looking forward to it.  I had things to tell her (so often, because we're going nowhere and doing nothing it felt like I'd nothing to say to her, although we always managed to blether for an hour!) then at 11 am my phone rang and it was her husband.   I expected him to tell me she wasn't feeling up to our call but it was to tell me that very suddenly on Saturday night she got very unwell and the nurses came and called for an ambulance.  By Sunday they knew she was very ill but the hospital continued to test her to see if it was an infection they could treat to let her have a bit more time.  Her husband was allowed to stay with her in her room and he stayed with her and said she was bright enough but struggling to breathe.  She died early this morning.  Her husband said it was very quick and very peaceful at the end and for her I'm glad it was so quick.   For her husband and son and daughter in law and all her friends and family I'm not so glad, it feels too soon.  We didn't expect it, although we knew we should expect it.   

We've not been friends for long but she was a very good friend, I'll miss her.