Blah!

It's been a blah sort of day here.  I was so productive yesterday, as well as making sure everything was in order for the plasterer and being super organised and having everything I could need all day out of the kitchen, including our lunch, I also made 7 face masks for various people, including a Christmassy one for myself and hubby.  I have 7 more I want to make, all are cut out and ready to be sewn and that was the plan for today, that and making some cards I need.  Did any of that happen?  No.  I went to the shops this morning to get bread and that has been the extent of my activity for today.  Well, I made lunch but that doesn't really count.  Other than that I've done nothing. Zilch. Nada.  I hate days when I feel this way.  I feel fat, frumpy, old and lazy and the weather is horrible too.  It's blowing a gale and raining horizontally so even the dog won't get a second walk today.  Hubby took him this morning and they both got soaked.  I don't intend to repeat the process.

I have two Zoom meetings this week.  One on Thursday with my art girl friends for a catch up and then one on Friday which is a memorial service for my friend who died recently.   They have included the order of service on the notification and it sounds like it will be lovely.  My friend was a lovely singer and was in a choir and did some solo singing too and there are going to be two videos of her singing.  She also wrote some stuff to be read out at it which I think will be quite poignant.  I'm both looking forward to it and not.

Another friends son died this week.  Not of Covid.  He has been ill for some time with various heart issues and finally succumbed this week.  He was only 22 and has had to fight all his life to stay healthy.  It makes you appreciate what you have.  His parents were allowed to sit with him till the end thank goodness.  I think we'd have read of a murder being committed if they hadn't let them in!!  Up here just now people are standing out on the pavement to pay their respects when the hearse leaves the house.  I'll be doing that next week.  

I guess it all adds up and takes its toll on you mentally when all this happens.  One of the awful side effects of having had cancer is the anxiety it leaves you with.  Never again can you take your health for granted.  The anxiety becomes a habit and I suspect a big side effect of living through this pandemic will be a huge upsurge in anxiety in people.  I know how to cope with it now but every now and then it washes over you and you don't see it coming.  I think thats how I feel today.  I know tomorrow is another day and I know I'll feel better but right now it just feels blah.