Friends

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I don't have many close friends.  I never have had.  Always just two or three.  Unfortunately my two best friends at school both moved south when they got married.  One to Manchester and one to Kent.  We keep in touch though and see each other sporadically.  My husband wasn't one for friends either.  Again, he had two or three good friends at school but more or less lost touch with them when he left for a job.  Both of us keep in touch with people from the past though.  The area we live in seems to hold onto people!  We still meet people we went to school with and we chat and pass the time of day but although we are friends with them they're not our 'friends'!  Does that make sense??  I've lost four friends in the past three years too.  So locally I feel I now only have one good friend.  I have other friends who live a bit further away but although they are not close friends they are good friends!  That is not to say I'm lonely and looking for new friends.  I have lots of people around me and my very best friend is my husband.  Him and I have been together since we were kids so we've more or less grown up together but I sometimes wonder what it would be like to have a group of close female friends or even a sister to confide in.   I envy people who have a sister or brother they are close to.  My daughter says the same.  Much as she loves her brothers she says she sometimes wishes she had a sister.

I don't really know what point I'm making with this post, in fact I think I'm really just thinking with my fingers on the keyboard! When I stopped to reread this I started to count how many people I have around me that are considered friends even if not close ones.  I have quite a few, more than some people have and probably a lot less than others have.   In fact, what started me thinking about this was my friend phoning me from Manchester today to ask how I was.  She said they can now meet up with 6 people outdoors and her and her husband are planning to meet up with four of their friends to catch up.  I found myself wondering if I have 4 friends to meet up with!  At first I thought not, however if I gathered everyone I'm 'friends' with together, I'd be in trouble if we all met at once!  As we're still only allowed to have 2 people in our garden or to meet
outdoors it's not a problem I have anyway! x 

My school friend and I in 2019 visiting the Scottish Parliament when we met up for a day in Edinburgh when she was up in Scotland with her husband for a week.

Comments

  1. Scarlet9 April 2021 at 13:15

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. Scarlet9 April 2021 at 13:25

    Ignore the first comment, I pressed publish too soon!!!
    I don't really have friends now. I've lost touch with those from my work days, when we socialised a lot, aswell as all being good friends aswell as colleagues. My last good friend stopped speaking to me because I moved house 10 years ago!!! Now, I have people I know, but I wouldn't class them as friends. It doesn't bother me at all, and I think that's a hangover from childhood. I was always on the move ( 5 different primary schools), so didn't form close bonds as I knew from an early age that nothing lasted. I had 3 sisters, but none of us were particularly close, and John wasn't close to any of his 4 brothers. Like you, my husband is the best friend I could ever wish for.

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    Replies
    1. Marksgran9 April 2021 at 14:37

      It must be hard to make lasting friendships when you keep moving but you and your hubby are great friends and really that's what matters isn't it. I had friends at work too but when I left I realised that most of us only had work in common and drifted apart all but one who I'm still in touch with though I can see that drifting too because of the pandemic. Working from home isn't conducive to meeting for coffee in the city when neither of us lives in the city and although my friend is talking about retiring soon, I don't see us keeping up. x

      Delete
  3. JayCee9 April 2021 at 13:29

    I was never very good at making friends. At school I only had my "best friend" . We sat next to each other in class and visited each other's homes at weekends etc but lost touch when we married and I went to live abroad. My friends now are really my husband's. He is much more gregarious than me and enjoys getting to know people. I am quite happy on my own or just meeting one or two people occasionally for coffee or a meal. Nellie No Mates that's me!

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    Replies
    1. Marksgran9 April 2021 at 15:15

      I think as long as we are happy with the way things are it's not so bad. I think I'm way too lazy to maintain a group of friends to be honest. I can be very anti social at times! x

      Delete
  4. JiCaLu9 April 2021 at 17:20

    I have a set of friends that I have known since I was 10!! I love them to bits, along with a bestie in Trinidad, and a friend I made in university that is like a sister to me. You just need whatever level of friendship/companionship works for you - but I think everyone needs that, because parts of life we truly need the support of others! ♥️

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    Replies
    1. Marksgran9 April 2021 at 21:30

      I think friends are great to bounce ideas off of and to get 'the truth'! Does my bum look big in this comes to mind! I know my friend would be pretty honest with me if I said that lol. Hubby is worried if he tells me the truth I'll fall out with him! He feels its a trap lol. I love that you have friends since you were 10. You must be a nice friend. x

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    2. JiCaLu11 April 2021 at 21:38

      lol, if i had a husband it might be a trap if i am asking if my butt looks big. funny how after all the time knowing you, he still won't touch that one opinion ;) i hope i am a good friend, i think so, thank you! friends should be able to be honest, in a nice way - i'm sensitive haha, my friends can tell me anything but gotta be gentle!

      Delete
    3. Marksgran13 April 2021 at 09:39

      I think we should all always be gentle with our honesty!! x

      Delete
  5. Treaders9 April 2021 at 17:36

    I don't think it's possible to have lots of "good" friends personally. One or two close friends, sure, but not dozens. My sister and her husband are really gregarious and seem to have loads of friends, particularly through their motorbike (Spyder) club. As for me, not so much. I guess I'm happy enough on my own most of the time but I do wonder if that's normal! I do have sisters and although the one in Denmark doesn't bother with any of us any more (there was never an argument so nobody really understands what happened), my sister in England is probably my closest friend. And I was just starting to get along really well with my oldest brother when he died. Life's a bugger sometimes isn't it!

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    Replies
    1. Marksgran9 April 2021 at 21:36

      I think lifestyle probably dictates friendships too. I think people who go out socialising more tend to have more 'friends'. It's a shame about your brother. That must have been hard on you. My friend who died in 2018 I'd known since our daughters started at school and I often find myself still thinking 'I can't wait to tell Marie about this'. LIfe is indeed a bugger at times. x

      Delete

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