The Chimp In My Head!
I have been trying to get my head into a better place! I've had one or two health issues lately and they have got on top of me. I've been down the rabbit hole that is catastrophising. Since I had cancer I now think everything will be cancer whereas before I'd think, at least it's probably not cancer! I was more blasé (I just learned how to do that over my e!!! ) about my health. Although I've had way too many operations over my lifetime I was always very healthy so I never imagined the big C getting me. We're all quite guilty of thinking it will only happen to other people but clearly that's not always the case. Of course the ongoing anxiety that is Covid hasn't helped. I think we've all probably had too much time to think and live in our heads this past year. (unless you're a key worker of course, in which case, you're probably too exhausted to think at all. I take my hat off to you.) However, I've spent the past few days giving myself a talking to! I remembered a Ted X talk I watched where the guy talked about the chimp that lives in our head. He likens all the inner chat in our head to a chimp.
I've also taken some advice from another blogger who's been in pain and has fought taking pain meds but after talking to the doctor has succumbed and is feeling much better. She was told that lockdowns have resulted in a lot of people moving less, sitting more and it's basically doing our bodies harm and it struck a chord with me. My shoulder has been sore for over 2 months and I've refused to call the doctor as I knew it would be a telephone consultation and what could I say other than my shoulder is sore! She'd tell me to take pain killers once I told her no I've not fallen, I didn't bump it it's just sore! Of course I went down the 'it must be the cancer back' route but it's not sore all the time, in fact it's mainly when I'm in my bed so again, what can the doctor do other than tell me to take Ibuprofen! Anyway, I finally decided that I was going to call the doctor and be done with it then I had the 'talk'. Thinking in terms of the painkillers, why not? Give it a try. It's probably too much sitting about on my computer and lately I've started gardening again, could it possibly be that?! I took the painkillers. Then there was the chimp thing. I now talk to the chimp! No, not out loud, I'm a bit daft but not that daft! When I catch myself overthinking or catastrophising a situation I tell the chimp to get in his cage and shut up! And believe it or not it's actually working! I woke up feeling better this morning and I think it's because the painkillers did their thing and I slept better. I've not felt as weary as I've been feeling and I feel lighter altogether. The other thing is my weight. I've put on about half a stone over the past year and I was needing to lose half a stone a year ago so I'm now at least a stone heavier than I should be or want to be. I'm now attributing this to part of the shoulder problem. I lie on my side in bed so that stone and the rest is resting on my shoulder at night. That can't be helpful. I'm useless at diets. I don't want to yoyo. I need to cut back and I will, just not today. I need to deal with the health stuff first. If I try to change too much too quickly I know I'll drop it all if I feel I'm failing whereas if I get the health stuff at least partly sorted first then I think I'll feel more able to deal with the weight stuff. I've stopped buying biscuits etc but we have a bit of a stockpile which I will use but perhaps more slowly than I would have previously. I'm not willing to forego all treats and fun stuff but I need to find more balance. I've already warned hubby we'll be changing the way we eat too! We've slowly got into the habit of having our lunch at 2pm then dinner at 8pm and at about 6pm I feel hungry and start nibbling all sorts, this is where my biggest problem lies. So I'm pulling our lunch back to 1pm and I'm going to try to bring dinner to about 6.30pm with perhaps a snack with a cup of tea at about 9pm if I feel I need it. I might not as I don't usually eat after my dinner but I'll work it out. Hopefully I'll get it all sorted out one way or another. I've made a start though and that's a good thing. x
I suffered from excruciating shoulder pain for months a couple of years ago before I finally went to see my doctor as it was impeding sleep and life. X-rays revealed calcific tendinitis and a steroid injection sorted it. I can’t believe how long I put up with it and the restrictions it imposed before seeking help and all because I thought given rest and Ibuprofen it would go away! We (and I include the chimp here) can be our own worst enemies.
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DeleteIn my first comment I realised what I'd said could be misconstued as being cheeky!! I'm so used to using phrases we use with the family and sometimes it can be misunderstood by others!! All I said was 'tell me about it' which was referring to the last sentence of your comment about being our own worst enemies! They really could do with an edit your comment section!! I'm glad you got your pain sorted fairly easily and if mine continues much longer I will certainly go to the doctor. The painkillers seem to be helping though. Fingers crossed. x
DeleteHello Martine! I'm glad you are starting to feel better, and I hope it continues. I'm wishing you good health and happiness. Now, about that chimp, we all have one that's for sure...I suspect some of ours are more unruly than others. :-) It's hard to remember at times that thoughts are just thoughts...they are not facts. Sometimes there are nuggets of wisdom in those thoughts, but sometimes you need to let them go...or put them back in their cage, as the case may be. I also put on a few pounds during COVID, which surprised me because I didn't think I'd changed my habits so much. Anyway, I'm making a point of being more active and more intuitive/mindful about my eating. It seems to be helping how I feel at the very least. I hope you are having the same result.
ReplyDeleteHi Christie, I'm feeling a lot better thankyou. It's strange how once you face something head on it seems to improve the situation. My chimp has run amok recently and as you say, it's often hard to remember that thoughts are not necessarily facts. I'm still being very aware of cutting mine off at the pass! I wasn't really aware of eating more during Covid either but I was certainly more active before it. I'm not doing very well at bringing the mealtimes forward yet as my grand daughter is coming in to us every day after school at the moment and she loves a cup of tea and a couple of biscuits at about 4pm and of course I have to join her! It's early days though, I'm not giving in this time! Well done you on getting the diet under control though. x
DeleteI was getting shoulder pain for a while too, and like you I reckon it was linked to lying on my side in bed and then all my blubber not exactly helping. I reckon I should lose 3 stone but I've decided I'm not even going to worry about it until my son moves out in July. I can be more disciplined without him here. And I've heard about the chimp - only we called it the monkey on your shoulder. Wherever he is, he does a lot of damage doesn't he. (And well done on the "é")!
ReplyDeleteShoulder pain seems to be widespread just now! It really pulls you down doesn't it. Mine is definitely feeling better now so if I could just get to grips with my weight I'd be a happy bunny! I think my chimp is guilty of telling me its too hard not to have chocolate or crisps or biscuits! I might have to get him a muzzle! I was so pleased with myself for sorting that e thing out lol. x
DeleteMG, I think you are over thunking it. Might it be that you go to bed exhausted with all the worry of just about everything and fall into such a deep sleep that you are with the addition of your extra half stone or two, just heavy in the bed? Some nights I wake up and feel I have been so deep asleep that my shoulder is boring into the mattress and blooming painful it is too! I feel for you I really do, as for what little I know of you dear chum, you do take on the world’s problems along with your own. Taking the odd painkiller might just do the trick and with things hopefully improving in the UK, you will be as bright-eyed and bushy tailed as usual.
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Hello stranger! I'm almost certainly overthinking. However my shoulder has been so painful and I don't why I resist painkillers but I've learned my lesson as I'm now feeling much better and soon will be on the task of losing these extra pounds! I hope you and yours are all well and bright eyed yourselves! x
DeleteI'm glad you're feeling better. I think only being able to have phone consultations has stopped people seeking help. I always feel like I'm wasting their time at the best of times. I suffered shoulder pain for ages before I sought help( pre covid). I should have done it sooner as I'd fallen on it twice and now don't have the range of movement I had before, and I'm lopsided as my shoulder has dropped!
ReplyDeleteI have my neuro appointment by phone on Saturday, and feel that, despite the 12 month wait they're going to try to fob me off. I am ready though...armed with the facts, going back to 1994!!
Weight is a sore subject for me, as the damned back pain put paid to exercise for weeks and I lost the mindset of doing an hour each day. Must try harder, and have plans to get back to it in the morning.
I agree the phone consultations have stopped a lot of people. Even the mark on my leg which turned out to be skin cancer was dismissed as nothing when I originally sent a photograph of it to the doctor at her request! I know shoulders take ages to heal from anything, particularly as its my right one and its hard to rest it. I have no idea why it's sore, I just woke up in pain one day and its been that way ever since. I hope your neuro appointment is successful. Make sure they listen to you!! I've no excuse for my weight, other than sheer laziness!! Good luck. x
DeleteWe all have this chimp, so I hear you! I hope your shoulder is feeling better, and I hope that your new approach to eating/snacking goes well. My chimp is about my job hunt, and other stuff. But I think mentally we are all just worn OUT by this pandemic, and our bodies are just acting up - my itchy skin definitely was stress related, tied into no sleep - yeesh!
ReplyDeleteMy chimp is quite dominant at the moment! I agree, I think mentally we're all totally worn out, its been very scary and even now with the vaccines it still feels worrying. Our bodies do react to stress badly and I think you're probably right about your skin. It's awful to think we bring things on ourselves at times isn't it. I hope your job hunt is successful and you get some sleep!! x
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