A comment from
https://aretirementblog.blogspot.com/ Caree Risover triggered an idea for this post. She mentioned that her son and his girlfriend had returned to the UK from New Zealand as they were missing family too much. I replied that I would be surprised if my son ever returns to the UK. He doesn't like the attitude here. If you do well here, people are quick to knock you down. Jobs are harder to get into as companies now seem to favour university degrees and of course there is the 'old boy network' here too. My husband wouldn't be able to get his old job back now as they require a university degree to even get a chance of interview and a degree doesn't necessarily guarantee the best person for the job. He finds they have a better work/life balance there too. Possibly because of the good weather they do a lot of outdoor socialising, they do a lot of outdoor activities and I know I feel much happier when the weather is good and I'm outdoors. I'm not saying life here is terrible, it's not and I think living in Scotland it's possibly not as frantic as some English cities which are much bigger and busier than here but there's a lot that could be improved not least the weather!! I know though that my uncle (my mums brother) is now wishing he lived much nearer us. He's been in Australia since the £10 trip in the 60's and he's loved it there. He has a daughter, son in law, two grandchildren and lots of friends yet, now that his wife has dementia, he's feeling very lonely and phones frequently to ask my mum if she could come over for a while. His family are all very busy and it's times like this when you realise how important extended family are. My mum is 87 so she's not going anywhere and he often talks of coming back here, but that's not going to happen. He's in his 80's and his own family are over there, he looks back at the UK with rose coloured glasses. He says he hates the heat and loves the rain but he complains when it drops below 15 degrees C in his Australian winter, he really wouldn't cope with our winter. It's not even 15 degrees here yet and its almost summer! Which brings me neatly to the photograph I took this evening. I was drying the dishes and looked out to see a rainbow.
It wasn't raining so it seemed even more magical. I said to hubby, ' aren't rainbows quite magical' 'no, they are scientific' he said and proceeded to explain about refracted light etc!! The man has no romance in him whatsoever lol.
And there was me hoping my son would settle permanently in NZ so he could sponsor us to join him and spend our retirement in his annex. Two years ago we thought the world was shrinking, the other side of the world was just a couple of long haul flights away and having family living in such a wonderful country was magical. One pandemic later, it’s our horizons that have shrunk; thank goodness for video calls and rainbows eh?
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing the difference the pandemic has made to our expectations isn't it. It's a shame you can't spend your retirement in NZ, that would be nice I think. However at least your son is nearby now and I can't imagine how I'll feel if my son and his partner have children. How I'll manage to live on the other side of the world from them too doesn't bare thinking about!! Thank goodness indeed for video calls and rainbows!
DeleteOh lordy that's a difficult one. I knew from a very young age that I wasn't going to stay in England and as soon as I'd finished college I was off. That I happened to land on my feet by getting a job in Switzerland was just a miracle but I know I could NEVER go back to live in the UK - I hate the weather with a vengeance. Oh don't get me wrong, I love going "home" and I do miss the sense of humour but being in the process of applying for French citizenship has brought home to me how France is now home to me. I'm lucky that both my sons are nearby I guess and I honestly don't see either of them leaving as they love it here, but I guess with me AND my sister leaving (she's in Denmark) it must have been hard on my parents, so I hate to think what having family as far away as Australia and NZ would feel like. Those flights are exhausting!
ReplyDeleteMy aunt, the one who lived most of her life in Geneva, moved back here a couple of years after her husband died to 'be near family'. Her daughter was in Belgium at the time. In the years since she moved here she's complained bitterly at every opportunity about our weather! She hates it. I think part of her would love to be back in Switzerland but as she now has dementia (early stage) that's not likely. It seems to be in old age the wish to return to your 'roots' raises its head. Though I think if you've made lots of friends and have family nearby it's probably easier. My aunt's problem was that no-one stayed in Geneva long enough to be a good friend, it's a very shifting population and her daughter had also moved away so she had no-one.
DeleteYou are absolutely right, the flights are exhausting and frustrating and you feel miserable for days after them too! However, I understand my son's want to be there and hopefully we'll get to see them again soon. x
I think some people look back with rose tinted glasses on, hankering after something that no longer exists, or maybe didn't even exist in the first place!
ReplyDeleteJ wouldn't get his job now either, as he doesn't have the requisite qualifications. What he does have is 44 years of experience, and a good work ethic, but those things wouldn't get him through the sifting of applications stage, let alone an interview.
I doubt the England my uncle remembers ever existed. He lived in Accrington in Lancashire and worked at the brickworks so his idea of fields of buttercups and poppies I think he probably got from a film!
ReplyDeleteIt's awful that people with experience don't get considered over a degree. I get that they have to use some way to sort out the millions of applications some places get but it seems very unfair to me.