An Exclamation Mark Sort of Day!

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Some days just seem to go from bad to worse!   I feel frazzled.  I went to my mums this morning to go over her finances.  She's run up debt on her utilities account and didn't quite seem to understand it.  It doesn't help that instead of saying 'you owe us £££' they now put something like, this will carry over to your next bill.  She thought that meant it would be paid by next bill from her direct debit so she's not been saying anything to me, not to mention I think she knew fine what I'd say if I found out!!  I only found out because she got a letter saying her direct debit was to more than double for the next year!  That got her attention!  I arrived as she was on the phone to her credit card company demanding to know why her car insurance hadnt been paid.  Turns out the card they were trying to get it from expired in 2019.  I have to be honest and say I didnt ask how she paid for it last year cos it would have been out of date then too!  I really didn't want to know lol.  Anyway her utility supplier refused to reduce the amount they want her to pay.  She's using more a month than the amount she wants to pay.  I get it, her house could house all sorts of tropical plants and a few lizards!  It's hot, hot, hot!  I've tried to have the conversation with her about cost etc but she refused to listen and it was hard to have that conversation when the weather was so cold.  The weather has now improved dramatically and between that and the letter I've now been able to have the conversation and have persuaded her (I use that term very loosely!) to reduce the amount of time her heating is on and to reduce the temperature from 25 degrees to 21 degrees!!  I'm hopeful I've changed her timer.  Its digital and she's no idea where the book for it is.  I've told her to wear more clothes and use throws or go to bed to read at night - apparently she can't read in bed!  I didn't ask!!   On my way out she told me I'd need to help with her garden.  She just can't manage it apparently.  However all my suggestions about how to make it easier to manage where not to her liking, so I've just to go up and get it weeded for her!  I told her you need to keep weeding though but thats ok, I can do that!!  NO I CANT!!!  I have a large garden of my own which is about as much as I can handle.  I've given her solutions to reduce the amount of garden she'd need to keep weeding and she doesn't want that.  Is it bad of me to feel bad and not want to do this?  I feel if I start I will be expected to keep it up and I don't want two gardens to look after.  

After that I went to my local shop to pick up some bread and an elderly man pulled out in front of me with not so much as a glance in my direction!  Fortunately I anticipated this so there was no contact but REALLY!  Then on the way down our road a female in a giant car stopped across my driveway as she saw me coming and clearly thought her car was too wide to pass me.  So she sat and I indicated I wanted to go where she was sitting and she looked at me like I'd grown another head!  I really do think if people are going to drive ginormous cars they should have a separate driving test to make sure they know how to drive their car and get to know how wide they actually are so that they don't take up the whole road trying to drive the darned things!

Now, our grandpup has developed some kind of weird phobia.  He behaved weirdly a few days ago like this, jumping up begging to be lifted and clinging like a limpet when lifted up.  He won't eat and he won't settle and runs from one place to another as though some invisible monster is chasing him!  He had a sore bum and was at the vet last night for it.  We thought his behaviour was linked to that but the vet said his bum isn't that bad so we've no idea what's wrong with him but today especially I'm just not in the mood for his silliness!  

I've come upstairs to my computer to hide but my granddaughter just texted me to say she's coming to us today as her mum and dad are working.  I don't mind but it would be nice if they asked.  I really am a grumpy old cow today ament I?!  I'd better go now before I say any more.  Have a better day than me!! x

Comments

  1. Treaders3 June 2021 at 17:36

    Grump away, you have a lot on your plate right now don't you! I always felt guilty that my sister had to deal with mom and her idiosyncrasies (which she did wonderfully) because I was in a different country but they don't get easier with age do they (nor will we I suppose)!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Marksgran4 June 2021 at 07:18

      I have to say I sat and wondered what she'd do if I joined my son in Australia! I said to her 'and stop rolling your eyes at me' and at least she had the decency to laugh and say 'I didn't know I was doing that'!!

      Delete
  2. Kim @ Him, Him Me3 June 2021 at 18:24

    I have some idea of how you feel about your Mum as my Mum is much the same. Today I had the no-body loves me and don't do anything for me and I don't want to be here- story AGAIN.
    I lost it when she said didn't want to be here any more, no-one cares, and she never see's any one, despite the fact she saw one of my sisters and a niece yesterday.
    Don't get me started on her heating bill!
    After 20 mins of this, I lost it and told her to pull herself together, that she will still be here in 20 years (she's 84), only she could make the best of what she has left.
    If she chooses to do otherwise, I know where her funeral plan is!
    I will most likely have to apologise later but it's cleared the air until next time and yes I do feel very guilty!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Marksgran4 June 2021 at 07:21

      Oh I get a lot of that too. My mum probably sees more people than I do in a week yet nobody loves her and she's no friends! Usually after one of those days she'll phone to tell me where her will is etc however she might not this time as it's my birthday this weekend and she'll be hoping for an invite to whatever is planned (which at the moment is a big nothing!)

      Delete
  3. Scarlet3 June 2021 at 21:30

    I feel for you on all fronts; mothers, terrible drivers, people driving big cars that they can't manage, and being taken for granted. No dogs or grandchildren here though!
    Hope your day improved x

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    Replies
    1. Marksgran4 June 2021 at 07:24

      I know you have many of the same things happen Scarlet. My day did improve thankyou, the dog went home a bit earlier than usual and I found a film to watch and it calmed me down to just sit and enjoy it. x

      Delete
  4. Cathy4 June 2021 at 00:15

    Sounds like a ‘cup of tea, a Bex and a good lie down’ sort of day. https://www.australianpharmacist.com.au/cup-of-tea-bex-good-lie-down/
    Hopefully the sun shone on your woes :)

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    Replies
    1. Marksgran4 June 2021 at 07:27

      I think you're right! I did sit down with a cup of tea to watch a film later - no meds though! The sun came out later in the evening while I was out walking our dog and I met some friendly dog walkers so the evening ended well thankyou.

      Delete
  5. Pixie4 June 2021 at 14:51

    I came here from Random Thoughts. I remember dealing with my mum and her house and her garden, although it was awhile back now. Everything that would make things better, she said no to. Finally she had a bad fall and couldn't get up and down the stairs into her house for months and that convinced her to move. I think it's part of age and I imagine I'll be the same one day sadly.

    You have a lot on your plate and not a lot of gratitude, that's frustrating to say the least.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Marksgran4 June 2021 at 21:05

      Hi Pixie, welcome. Random Thoughts is a lovely blog isn't it. I had a bright idea last night that to reduce the amount of work in the part of the garden bothering her, we could cover over the soil with some weed supressing material (I happen to have some in my hut) and put some pebbles over it and then she can put a couple of her beloved pots of plants on there but when I suggested it she said no. She didn't want that! I despair! x

      Delete
  6. JiCaLu5 June 2021 at 03:42

    Ooof, I hear you on the mom stuff. Moms can be so difficult, yet you continue to help and do what you can. I have some friends whose moms are the same way, it's frustrating! Keep doing what you can, no more. Certainly no one is taking care of two gardens, lol. If she needs your help, she ought to listen or find $$$ for someone to take care of it.

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    Replies
    1. Marksgran6 June 2021 at 08:16

      My mum can be so difficult at times yet so nice at others. I've always had a fairly difficult relationship with her. Her and my brother are much closer but he doesn't do gardening full stop! She normally loves gardening so I don't know why it's suddenly too much for her, however I suppose at 87 she's doing well to be able to do it at all. I have thought it might be time for some sheltered housing where she could potter in a communal garden or something but she'd never agree to that plus she has great neighbours where she is, they keep a good eye on her. I just wish she'd let me get her garden a bit more easy to take care of instead of wanting me to take it on!

      Delete

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